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Thursday, November 06, 2008


(Update posted Friday 6 a.m., see below.)

Me and my old beav are still writing like the wind, hoping and praying Rosie O'Donnell jumps on the RoLo bandwagon. I wonder if you guys realize how badly I want this opportunity. I wonder if you're aware of measures I've taken, besides the run-of-the-mill stalking, mentioned at Home Fires. I've tried everything you can think of plus about 12 other things that no one in their right mind could conjure up.

I've created almost 100 character and sketch concepts in three weeks. I keep writing because, I still feel ready and right for this show. I know it isn't going to be a one-time special, and poof... gone forever. I believe NBC will pick it up as a weekly show. I believe they are waiting for rating numbers to come in, which means, even if I hear nothing for three more weeks, I'll be asking you all to tune in to the show so it can become a reality for me. With the world in such a crazy state, we need laughter. And if we can get it during prime-time rather than having to stay up all night, that will be a bonus.

Okay, so enough about that for now. I was so happy that so many of you admitted to balding and gray haired hoochie-coos. You never cease to amaze me when I over share. And I do apologize for any mental image you were unable to shake.

Outside of all this writing, I've been planning a birthday party for my girl. She is going to be 14 Monday. Can you believe that? I can't. As the kids get closer to being at the age of self-sufficiency, I am forced to take a hard long look at my own life. I have so many things I want and need to do.

Want. Need. Need. Want.

As you know, some times life has a way of throwing you a curve ball. Long time readers of this blog will note many a curve ball tossed in my general direction. Sometimes, exactly what you hoped, happens. Other times, it is something that can put you in a state of shock because you are simply unable to wrap your head around the concept.

Love is the same way. You give of your heart and hope to get the same in return. You can find yourself at a crossroad even in love, but what do you do? Are you supposed to suck it up? Hope the feelings come back? Hope for better days? Deny days that have been less than adequate? Can you actually admit that the love you once had isn't as strong as it used to be? Or should be? Or as strong as you want it to be?

When does a person know for sure that a relationship is over? And if it is a relationship that has given you a lot of happiness, should it really end? What if you look back years from now and think it wasn't worth ending? Is hindsight really 20/20, or is it more like 60 Minutes?

Where is the line in trivial? What is trivial when it comes to your love?

I hope none of you think differently of me, or judge me. It has taken me months to be honest about this, and I'm putting this out there because I feel guilty, and wanted to turn to you. But why is there so much happiness in my guilt? Maybe I'm fickle. I never thought I was before now. Is it even possible to be head-over-heels in love one day and out the next? Like being a contestant on Project Runway, facing Heidi Klum, "In fashion, one day you're in. And the next, you're out. Auf Wiedersehen!"

Can you really give the Auf Wiedersehen treatment to one you've loved so deeply?

Here's a photo of the day we said goodbye. He got a nice hand job wash, wax, and Armor Alling to his bra, seats, dash, etc., before I kissed his beautiful hood goodbye. You can see why I loved him so, can't you?

Here I am torn between two lovers. I'll admit, I was feeling like a fool.

(don't judge the car washing outfit of choice, the poor cell-phone-quality of these photos, or my hair being in a knot on top of my head, or the fact that I was in terrible need or a dye job, or that I was not wearing makeup, socks and or shoes, or wearing my breast cancer awareness bra, the one that has the lumps in the padding, giving my boobs the wave effect)

And here I am with my new love. A 300C, with a hemi?! A smart V8, that cuts back to 4 cylinders when driving on the highway to save gas?! Are you freakin' kidding me?!?!? It was that dream car you might be afraid to dream of based on the sticker shock alone. How could I not fall in love, people? I am only human. Yes, made of flesh and blood, human.

* UPDATE: After waiting three weeks for a response from ANYONE, Janette Barber, answered the email I sent to her "Contact Janette" section of her blog. She is not only a close friend of Rosie O'Donnell's but she has worked with her several times, and is writing for her new show.

Here's what she said, "Hi Lois...I'm beyond swamped right now so only skimmed your email. There is not an opportunity to write on the special but if we go further I would be happy to take a submission from you. I can give you more detail on that and read more about you when I have a minute. Just wanted you to know I've gotten the email and will address when I can. :)janette"

There is always hope. First line, not so hopeful, but what follows, tells me there is hope for something soon. Her email reiterates what I mentioned above. If you and everyone you know, tunes in to the special, November 26th on NBC, the ratings will be through the roof, and I will really have a chance to fulfill my dream. The show is expected to be reminiscent of the Carol Burnett Show and other fun varieties from when TV was good.

Right now I am going to brush up on all I've written over the last three weeks. I'll choose my favorites, format them and maybe toss in a little rewriting. I will be ready to pass along material I am very proud of when she makes contact again. As I complete them, I'd love to bounce the ideas off of someone. A lot of times, things are funny in my head but others just don't get the joke. I need to make sure I am not presenting anything that isn't topnotch. If you think you can be totally honest and would like a sneak peek into my mind, email your phone number to me at