You Can't Lose Me

My best friend headed back to Tennessee last night. Every time we are able to visit, the saying goodbye part sucks more and more. You would think we would be used to it all by now. She has been out of state a few years and I was out of state a couple too. We've been here and done this, so why the hell is it still so hard?

When I moved away to California almost nine years ago, I cried saying goodbye. Honey's daughter, still makes fun of me about that crying stuff.

Yesterday afternoon, Lane 3 said, "Lois, are you going to cry again?" and then she proceeded to remind everyone about that one and only time she saw me cry.

It was nine years ago, and I don't think I'll ever live those tears down.

Honey has four kids, Mojo Jojo, Mister Magoo, Lane 3 and Taz. I dubbed them with those nicknames because her oldest, who is now 16, is a hairy mutha fucka, plus he has attitude, just like the crazy little monkey in the Power Puff Girls cartoon.

Mister Magoo is her 14 year old, who looked just like Mister Magoo without the glasses when he was little.

Her daughter, Lane 3 is my favorite and has always acted more like one of mine than one of Honey's kids.

And then there's Taz, her baby boy. He's mellowed a lot but when he was little he was just like the Tasmanian Devil, zooming all over the place and running over the back of mine and Honey's feet with his walker, droolin' all the while. At 10-years-old, he isn't technically a baby anymore but he is the youngest of our brood.

It's funny how the kids just picked up where they left off in their friendships. Have you ever had a friend whose kids just sucked? Or have been in a situation where you really liked the parents but their kids were just annoying and even your kids didn't want to play with them? Out of six kids, we've never had that. I don't know why that seems very cool to me but it just does.

When Honey told me that Magoo and Mojo Jojo were each bringing a friend, I cringed at the thought. I thought her boys had outgrown Lane 1 and he would now be left out of the mix. That, thankfully, didn't turn out to be the case.

Crash Bandicoot, who was blessed with that nickname because of all of the injuries he inflicted upon himself, was just like one of mine or Honey's kids. He fit right in and treated my kids like he's known them all along. Sure the little shit didn't abide by my rules, "No, bleeding! No getting hurt! No wipeouts! No getting injured while in my home, neighborhood or presence!" but other than that he was a really good kid. He really should be wrapped in bubble wrap before he goes skateboarding, however.

Magoo's friend Shaggy, who, if you looked at the pictures on my Flickr account, you'll see where his nickname came from, also fit like a glove into our "family". But much like Crash, he didn't follow all of the rules. He sat on the couch all by himself. I asked what was wrong, he said nothing. Honey asked why he was just sitting there and he said he was thirsty. The rule Shaggy broke, "If you are thirsty, get yourself a drink because my crystal ball that detects thirst, is broken."

I looked that boy in the eyes and asked, "Are you new here?"

"Well, yeah, sorta," he said.

"I'm sorry but you are no longer a guest. You see this big rectangular thing here in the kitchen? That's what we northerners call a fridge. That's where we get our drinks from. Now, if you would like a drink, you aren't going to be able to get one from the couch. The couch is where us damn Yankees take a nap. Ya dig?"

He looked at Honey as if to ask, "Is she crazy?" Honey smiled at him as if to answer "yes". Just like with her own kids, sometimes words just aren't needed.

If the kids weren't swimming, playing at the park, skateboarding or playing video games, they were just talking and hanging out together, which is what Honey and I did the whole time... add coffee and spoonin' of course.

With all of the goodbyes said, and neither of us knowing when we can see each other again, my mind goes back to nine years ago, when I moved away. Faith Hill said it best and her words still hold true to the way I feel about my Honey having to go.

You can't lose me

Bet your life

I am here, and I will always be

Just a wish away

Wherever you go

No matter how far

My love is where you are

You won't be lost if you believe

You can't lose me