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Saturday, February 02, 2008

It's That Damned Old Rodeo

Hey you, you cute little blog buddy! How the hell are you? It's been so long. I know my last post was a bit whinish. Sorry I get caught up in thinking a little too often. Today is a brand spanking new day, and the only whining you will hear (read) will be from my sister Angie, providing she leaves a comment. Because today, my wonderful bunch of coconuts, I'm going to share one of the most embarrassing stories of her entire life. This story is part of a manuscript I've been working on and I need to know if it really is funny, or if it is just funny to me because she is my sister.

This story is smack-dab in a chapter where I discuss growing up to be a private eye. The next Nancy Drew, if you will. Let me know what you think, and be honest...while making fun of my sister of course.

Angie was the sister most frequently caught with her pants down. There should have been an award for that title. One day I caught her with a neighbor boy and a neighbor girl. Knowing the three of them were full time trouble makers, on their way to the big house, I watched them very closely. They walked into the apartment building next door from ours. When they didn't come out immediately, I knew they were up to something.

Using my stealth-like, master detective abilities, I tiptoed toward the door, holding my breath, trying to quiet my own heartbeat. Carefully I gripped the doorknob in my hand, giving a gentle and silent turn. I gave them the ka-powee. When that door flung open, I was scarred for life by what I witnessed. They were playing horsey in the hallway. To play horsey, I guess you have to be bareback, because she sure was, and so were the other two kids.

I barged in to see my naked sister sitting on the steps, cupping her face in her hands, with her elbows on her knees, awaiting her turn. The other girl sat naked on the boy's back. He was also naked... and on all fours. He was the horsey I suppose. The neighbor girl had a makeshift lasso, made from a jump rope she had tied around his neck. I think I even saw her digging her ankle bone spurs into his thighs.

Since no rodeo goes through Chicago, their efforts were fruitless. Although, our mother sure did look like a rodeo clown loaded up on meth, when she whipped a lecture into my sister's ass. I almost felt guilty about informing her of the latest developments. Almost.

**Edited to add, Angie was 16 when this happened. Kidding she was 8 or 9, and she has given me permission to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help me blog.