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Monday, January 31, 2005

Tall Tales

I always knew my family members were exaggerators but I never knew how much until yesterday. My mom, two of my sisters, an aunt, an uncle and I were all trapped in an elevator. We were heading for the first floor of a five-floor building. I pushed the button and the doors shut. We began to talk and it took a minute to realize the elevator stopped but the doors never opened.

I have a mini claustrophobia issue but my mom, one of my sisters and my aunt have a serious case and were not taking it well. For three of the longest minutes of my entire life there was hysterical laugher and screaming.

My uncle was trying to get someone's attention by slamming his hand on the doors while repeatedly yelling "Hey! We're stuck in here! Someone get us out of here!"

My sister Anita grabbed the emergency phone to let the maintenance guys know we were stuck. Although she isn't one of the claustrophobics, she wasn't exactly calm about the situation as she shouted into the phone, "I've got a bunch of claustrophobics in here and they are going to lose their minds if you don't get us out soon!"

My sister Angie, who has asthma was barking like a dog and couldn't catch her breath. She kept saying, "Oh shit! Oh shit!" in between her coughing and nervous laughter.

My mother was laughing so hard I thought she was going to piss herself. It was that crazy laughter you might hear in an insane asylum. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA! Oh my gosh! HAHAAHAHAHAHAAAA!" And her body was jolting back and forth like Rainman on crack.

My aunt was nearly in tears and shouting, "It's too hot in here! Isn't it hot? I need to take my coat off. When Is someone going to find us? Good God it's hot!"

I didn't have the heart to tell her that we were not lost and that it really wasn't hot in the elevator. I stayed quiet leaning against the wall watching my family members freak out one by one. It wasn't long before I could hear the sound of help. I could tell by the lights that we were in between floors. I started getting nervous thinking about having to climb out of the elevator.

The doors were spread apart by a very nice maintenance man, who offered his hand to help us step out of the elevator. It was only a seven inch step, hardly a big deal but it was still nice of him to offer his hand.

There were a few people in the hallway looking as we emerged and that's when the storytelling began.

By the end of the night, everyone was telling the story and adding a little more drama. They started by saying we were in there for 10 minutes, which was really three but by the end of the night turned into almost an hour.

The seven inch step was described by my mother to my nephew, "They had to pull us all out of there because we were stuck between the floors. Oh my gosh it was so scary!"

I pulled my nephew aside to tell him what really happened because my mother was getting way too much sympathy from the poor guy. I like to exaggerate as much as the next chick but not like that. Hearing this turn into what it did, I couldn't help but wonder how many times I have been hoodwinked by one of their tall tales.

(Sorry for not being here and not commenting on your blogs the last few days, life is getting a little crazy. If I am MIA again soon, don't think I gave up the blog, I'm just busy lately. As always, thanks for stopping by!)