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Friday, June 17, 2005

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday!

I want Sunday to be the best day ever. I want it to be all Lois, all day. I hate having to share my special 33rd birthday with Father's Day. Every once in a while my birthday and Father's Day have come to a head-on collision, usually with me getting a big birthday shaft, and not in a good way.

When I was little I thought it sucked having my birthday on my dad's special day. I thought we both deserved our own day of celebration. I thought we both deserved a whole paycheck's worth of presents, our own special meal and our own little parties. But you can't always get what you want.

This year, I don't want anything really. I feel lousy that my birthday is landing on a day I should be celebrating with my dad. This is the first Father's Day since my dad died. And now I wish I could share that special day with him. What I wouldn't give to be selfish again.

Gin(ny) - N - Juice

Dude, I Totally Skored With This Chick! Ginny is one hot California babe. Besides that, she is the freakin' coolest! Guess what I got in the mail today? A freakin' birthday present! Woohoo!

In the lovely purple packaging was a topaz necklace charm, (Back off mother! You aren't getting it!) a notepad shaped like a computer that says, "Luv 2 Blog", two bottles of Bath & Body Works shower gel and lotion, Sweet Pea scented, (How did she know how smelly I am?) a card, a Skor candy bar, which I ate already, and, but wait, there's more a freakin' Etch-A-Sketch of my very own! (Keep your freakin' paws off Ang!)

Ginny, thank you so much for being such a wonderful and thoughtful friend!

Misty Mountain Hop

Last night at 8 p.m. I spotted something in my yard. I stretched my neck, got out of my chair and inched toward the door. It was a bunny. A big bunny. I thought about Catnip and wondered if it was his mom. As I got a better look, I could see four small bunnies trailing behind her. They were the same size and color as Catnip.

I scooped him up out of his enclosure and quietly took him outside. With Catnip in my hands, I belly crawled like a wounded soldier in the mom's general direction. I opened my hands and Catnip hopped away. He ran right up to the big bunny, who sniffed him crazy like for a brief moment, nudged him with her head and within seconds, all six hopped into the woods at the back of my yard.

I had reservations about letting him loose. What if she wasn't his mom? What if she rejects him later, when I am not in plain view? What if she deserts him after they get deep in the woods? What are my kids going to say?

The kids, Mr. Lane and his father were gone. They went to an all-day race with one of our friends who races motorcycles and wouldn't be home until really late. I hoped the kids wouldn't be upset that they didn't have a chance to say goodbye to the little bugger but I worried more that this chance may never present itself again. Strike while the iron's hot theory.

When they finally came home, they were much too tired to notice he wasn't here anymore. In the morning I told them what happened and they both seemed happy. For that, I was thankful.

Emotional Girl

Sad, happy and sad but happy. I am a fucking emotional wreck today! I have no idea what gives. Since I've been home I haven't really felt home. I hate to blame Mr. Lane but it is his fault, so on with the story. Mr. Lane has been home since we arrived from our trip. I am not used to him being here for more than a day or two per week at the max.

His father also has been here since we got back. I love his father but... I feel like I am on constant "What do you need? Can I get you something? Are you comfortable?" mode. He isn't one of those annoying needy people and wouldn't ask for shit. I have no idea why I feel like I have to always be on alert to offer him a drink or food.

With Mr. Lane's dad comes visits from Mr. Lane's sisters. I love them too, but... I hate having a houseful of people day after day. The hostess with the mostest thing kicks in and I can't sit still. Having 10 extra people here all day, unplanned, makes my mind go freakin' bonkers I guess. I'm one of those annal retentive types who likes to plan things out. I like knowing I have plenty of food, soda, coffee and snacks. I hate scraping the bottom of the barrel and going grocery shopping every day, but, since I've been home, that's just kind how things have gone.

The other day they were talking about planning a barbeque for Sunday, which still isn't planned. I assume it won't be at our house, of course, that may change too.

It isn't often that Mr. Lane and his sisters get to see their dad on Father's Day because he lives in California but is here on business until Wednesday.

Now I am torn about what I am doing Sunday. I wanted to go to see my mom. I know it's going to be a rough day for her without my dad. If you can believe it, she is more upset than I am about my birthday landing on Father's Day this year. She and I and my sisters already planned meeting up Sunday. And of course, because I am anal, that was planned a month ago. What to do?