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Saturday, September 01, 2007

A Shitty Post

Diaper-free dot org is all the rage in going potty, apparently. The site teaches parents how to have diaper free children… from birth. The concept seemed odd at first. But when you take into consideration third world countries, where diapers are not worn, it’s possible… I guess. The website explains how to read body language and learn to recognize signs that a child, as young as a newborn, needs to go potty. Maybe it’s the skeptic in me, but, from what I gather, the parents get trained, more so than the kid.

For decades, experts have claimed, children have no bladder or bowel control until they are a year and a half. Even though my mother, the self-proclaimed-expert, swears on everything holy, that all of us kids were potty trained by the time we were a year. Just between me and you, I think she was handing out that bull to make all of her kids feel inferior about our parenting skills. Clearly, none of us could, would or should attempt to compete with Mom. Ever.

Anyway, we are a modern society hell-bent on making our lives easier, which I guess is why I just don’t get this concept. I just learned about this new fad last week, while reading the news. One of the diaper-free mommies interviewed, said the hardest part about being diaper-free is finding tiny underwear for her 14-week-old baby.

If I were… say… on crack, and living with diaper-free children, I doubt that would be the hardest part. I’d just go buy some doll drawers. How hard is that?

Another problem she said she faced, mentioned as an afterthought, was taking her baby into a public restroom. Not wanting to hold her baby over a nasty public toilet, which I can dig… but what she said next had me shaking my head, thinking.

She added, “I got a little embarrassed when a woman walked into the bathroom, finding me holding my daughter over the bathroom sink.”

Well, I guess that would be a little embarrassing, now wouldn’t it? “That right there, is the hardest part. Squishing baby poo down the sink drain would be a tight running for second,” I thought. Holy hell people! If ever I am in a public bathroom and see a tiny baby crapping in the sink, I’m going to flip a biscuit. Seriously.