December 6, 2009, was the first time… ever I saw her face. Fast friends because of our common interests, twisted senses of humor and some other connection you just feel with certain people.
An unfamiliar voice singing the Muppets, Mahna Mahna, was the first phone call she ever made to me. It has become our song. We recently learned it originated in a porno – funny and fitting.
Our bond is certainly a form of Crazy Glue.
We “knew” each other for quite some time via the blogs and similar internet stomping grounds (Read: porn sites) As I look back on the last three years and as our anniversary approaches, I want to share my favorite thing about her with all of you.
It is music to my ears.
Brings a smile to my face.
It makes me not want to take my eyes off of her.
She rocks like Rainman, as tears pool in her eyes.
She flings her head back, mouth agape, as she gasps for breath, squealing, snorting and impersonating labor and childbirth.
Squeezing her thighs together to keep from peeing her pants, or as we say, letting the tears of joy run down her legs. I call that move the clapper, imagine a movie director's clapper being her legs.
Her entire body jolts and jiggles as a variety of sounds emit from her face.
I love that! And more than anything, her reaction feeds my crazy. She makes me feel much funnier than I really am. She loves me like a sister but handpicked me from the big ol’ world. How can you not fall head-over-heels in love?!
In the last three years, we’ve spent a lot of time together. We’ve learned, loved, laughed and lost. Through it all, even the toughest patches, we’ve laughed, mostly at ourselves but what makes our relationship so special is that we’ve done it together.
Jodi and I had a speedy quick visit planned and this past weekend, she was bringing…her man. We thought it was time he witness the crazy that takes place in Le Château De La Ho - the same crazy that brings my friends back for more often.
It would be his first-ever visit, yet Jodi’s millionth. We thought it was time he see where his wife’s second home is and that we don’t have a secret boyfriend here for her or anything weird going on…besides our own weirdness.
I’m not sure how he felt when he walked into my house.
He is a stoic man, a bit tough to make laugh, or to make smile, especially compared to his wife. I thought he did well under the circumstances.
When they arrived they were greeted by Ella Jayne and her friend, who I just realized never did get a name.
Ella Jayne, my alter ego, was dressed in turquoise shorts, knee-high argyle fuzzy socks – a gift from Jodi, a green v-neck tee-shirt with a googly-eyed monster on it, painted on freckles, rosy cheeks, black waterproof mascara between all of my teeth and lopsided pigtails.
Go back and reread that description so you too can visualize my overflowing sexiness!
Little did Jodi know Turtle was here too. As my brain formulated the plan I also thought there was no way I was going to get Turtle to go along with it. But to my surprise, she was ready, willing and able…long as there was no photographic evidence.
Dressed in shorts, fuzzy striped colorful socks, an alligator print blazer (the only really fucking weird piece of clothing I have of my mother’s) with her hair also in lopsided pigtails, with rosy freckled cheeks, Turtle looked like Ella Jayne’s long lost sister.
Hot fucking mess times two! (Really wish I had not made a pinky swear to no photos so you could see for yourselves!)
We planned to greet Jodi that way because Jodi loves her some Ella Jayne, and let’s face it, I was looking for some of that great laughter from her.
She didn’t know Turtle was in town and was so shocked to see her there at my house, she looked right through our ridiculous costumes. She laughed, but not like the typical “Oh my fucking hell” squeal I expected.
Once the shock wore off a bit and we ditched her old man with my old man, the three of us sat at the dining room table, talking, drinking, laughing and maybe recording…
This was much more tame than her usual "back labor" laughter because she knew I was recording her.
How can I not be crazy in love?!
Happy anniversary to my sweet, beautiful, Crazy Glue sister.
I love you more!