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Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Peanut Butter Jelly Time

Today is a day to celebrate! Auntie Shorty is getting out of the hospital.

While she was in the hospital, Uncle Giant and my cousin Joey were trying to run the household without her. Auntie Shorty has always been the one to keep everything in their home running like a perfectly oiled machine, which makes her a very tough act to follow. She is a great cook and keeps the house neat as a pin.

Joey tried his best to do as much as he could so his father wouldn't have to.

After spending another long day at the hospital, the two went back home for dinner. Joey told his father to go rest while he whipped a little something up for dinner. When he served Uncle Giant a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, his father gave him a look.

Joey smiled, until, Uncle Giant said, "Hey Mickey, (he calls everyone Mickey da Mope) if you're gonna be my bitch, you're gonna have to do a little better than peanut butter and jelly."

I think Joey was paying Uncle Giant back for a nasty little trick he played on my dad a couple decades ago.

As brothers, there were no boundaries those men wouldn't cross. The holidays were no exception. One year, before we left our house, my dad packed his lunch so he could head out to work straight from the party. Like his brothers, my dad loved fresh carved turkey sandwiches.

It sucked that Dad had to go into work on holidays. I think having a turkey sandwich waiting for him, made going a lot easier.

Uncle Giant, unbeknownst to my dad, played the ol' switcheroo. He took Dad's turkey sandwich and replaced it with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

When my dad got to work and sat down to have his lunch, you can imagine the look on his face when he didn't see the thick, juicy, turkey sandwich he made earlier.

He called my mom yelling, "Which one of those sons-a-bitches did this?"

Mom, trying to fake innocence, said, "What's wrong honey?"

"You know damn good and well what's wrong!"

Trying to hold back her laughter, she listened as he continued his rant. "My brother, that S-O, (asshole) stole my turkey sandwich! And the Sonofabitch left my this thin piece of shit of a sandwich. He couldn't even put a thick layer of peanut butter and jelly on the damn thing! I am going to kick his ass!"

Uncle Giant still gleams with pride over that little stunt. I just hope Joey gets as many miles of laughter out of this latest PB&J saga as we did with the first.

Welcome back home Auntie Shorty. I love yous guys!