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Friday, May 26, 2006

I'm A Goin' Huntin'

Still no sign of the fucking cat. Looked for hours yesterday and early this morning, between thunder storms and tornado watches. Heartbreaking, yet stupid. I hate that I've turned into a cat person. I hate that the little shit ran away. I hate that I genuinely love that cat. Wonder what he could possibly be running from. Seems just crazy to spend so many hours sad about a stupid cat when the world, and life itself is loaded with real troubles. Fucking cat.

Last day of school was today. They were dismissed for the summer at 10 a.m. Those partial school days drive me nuts most of the time. This time I stayed for the final chapel service, award ceremony and the ice cream social.

Some 200 kids versus 5 moms armed only with ice cream, scoopers, styrofoam bowls, plastic spoons, napkins and sundae toppings. I think it was a dead heat. It was nice being part of the group who loaded the kids up with sugar at 9:30 a.m. just to send them home to drive their parents nuts.

Perverted thought of the day (minus the kids of course) I was the whipped cream mom. Is it just me or does this time of year make you feel like a horndog too?

Lane 2 received awards for the spelling bee, honor roll and volleyball. Lane 1, even though he was sent home with fake pink eye last week, got himself a perfect attendance award. I told the principal it should have been me to get the award since I drive him to school everyday, and fight with him on the days he doesn't want to go. The principal said he would consider that for next year. But next year, Lane 1 won't be at that school. He is headed to high school.

His graduation is Sunday. Unfortunately, we are too far away for any of the family to make it to see this milestone. I'll take pictures and probably have a birthday/graduation party for him soon.

Guess I better get back to huntin'. Here's one of my favorite old jokes that this hunt reminds me of:

An old man is sitting on his porch and sees a kid go by with a roll of duct tape. He hollers out, "Boy, where you goin' with that duct tape?"

The kid replies, "I'm a goin' huntin' to git me some ducks."

The old man shouts back, "You cain't get any ducks with duct tape, boy."

"I recon we'll see."

An hour later, the old man sees the kid walking by with ducks in his hand.

The next day, the old man sees the boy passing by with chicken wire.

He shouts out, "Hey boy, where you goin' with that chicken wire?"

The boy said, "I'm a goin' huntin' to git some chickens."

The old man says, "But you cain't git chickens with chicken wire, boy!"

The boy continues on by and says, "I recon we'll see."

Hours later the boy passes by the old man's house. To his amazement, he sees the boy has chickens in his hands.

The next day, the old man sees the boy passing by and shouts, "Hey boy, what you got there in your hands?"

The boy answers, "Pussy willows."

The old man replies, "Just a minute, boy. I think I'd like to go huntin' too!"

Have a great weekend everybody!