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Friday, June 02, 2006

It's Angie's Fault!

Julie reminded me of something inappropriate from my youth. I don't remember what she said exactly that triggered this memory but it was another one of those, "I have to tell my blog buddies this one!" moments.

When I was a kid my gym teacher made an assignment for us to perform at parent's night. Each child or group of children had to come up with some type of athletic performance. My sister Angie and I, along with a couple of our closest friends, decided we would do a jump rope routine.

It took us forever to get coordinated, choose a song and be able to keep up with Angie. She was by far, the jump rope champion of the world, back in the day. We finally picked out a song, one recommended by Ang, and we practiced really hard. Day-after-day, for hours on end.

Our gym teacher was surprised how well we were doing in practice. I remember her snapping her fingers to the tune of our song and smiling as she watched. It wasn't often our scowl-faced gym teacher was happy, which is probably why I still see her face from that day in my head.

It was 1984ish and Angie's band of choice for our famous routine was Prince. That was way before he became a symbol and then turned back into a prince. The song, Erotic City.

The big night arrived. Nervously, we line up on stage, ropes in hand, smiles cross faces, look out to the sea of parents and fellow students, music maestro, and these are the words that came out of the record player that fateful day:

All of my purple life (jump, twist, smile, jump)
I've been lookin' for a dame (twist, jump, smile, twist)
That would wanna be my wife (cross, jump, smile, cross)
That was my intention main (jump, twist, smile, jump)

As the following words of the chorus played, the crowd gasped.

If we cannot make babies (jump, twist, smile, jump)
Maybe we can make some time (double jump, twist)
Fuck so pretty, you and me (jump, twist, smile, jump)
Erotic City come alive (double jump, twist)
We could fuck until the dawn (jump, twist, smile, jump)
Makin' love 'til cherry's gone (double jump, twist)
Erotic City, can't you see (jump, twist, smile, jump)
Fuck so pretty, you and me (Angie's solo was about here)

We assumed the gasp was because we managed to stay in sync with each other. We were pretty sure we were rockin' the house. When many people in the audience started to get up, we were really sure Ang impressed them so much with her jump ropin' skills that they were offering a standing ovation.

Instead they were getting the hook to drag us off of that stage. We didn't even get to the best part of our routine, which would have gone a little like this:

Every time I comb my hair (jump, twist, smile, jump)
Thoughts of you get in my eyes (twist, jump, smile, twist)
You're a sinner, I don't care (cross, jump, smile, cross)
I just want your creamy thighs (jump, twist, smile, jump)

After the "creamy thighs" line, would have been where my solo fit in. We never made it that far. Even though Mom, Dad and our teacher heard the song thousands of times as we practiced, like us, they never paid attention to the lyrics. When I later found out why our routine was halted, I became a lyrics junkie.

I guess I could say it's also Angie's fault that I am a word nerd. Who knows how long it would have taken me to take an interest in song lyrics, had that jump rope routine not taken place with the likes of Prince. See, it is all Angie's fault!