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Wednesday, August 09, 2006

The Name Game

Mr. Lane has issues. Most of you know about his trouble with song lyrics, but did you know he also has trouble remembering people’s names? Thankfully for him, not mine, but just about everyone else’s name escapes him.

We used to have a neighbor named Bill. Mr. Lane always called him Bob. I corrected the first few times but gave up when Bill got used to being called the wrong name.

Finally one night over beer and brats, Bill said, “I have a brother named Bob.”

It was his way of beating around the bush to tell Mr. Lane that he had been calling him by the wrong name, for months.

“Why would your mom name you both Bob?” Mr. Lane asked.

Bill and I looked at each other and laughed. Mr. Lane didn’t get the joke.

A few days later, Bill came over wearing a shirt that had his name embroidered on it. It was so funny to me and Bill. It was even funnier when Mr. Lane asked him whose shirt he was wearing and Bill replied with, “Oh I don’t know. Just picked it up at the thrift store. You get a great deal on shirts with names already on them over there.”

From then on Bill was Bob.

The farm has been a busy place lately. Harvest season is in full swing. They hired a couple of new guys to transport the crop. In traffic, Mr. Lane spotted one of the guys ahead of him. He called out on the CB, “Todd, you got a copy?”

He called several more times and decided the guy didn’t have his radio on. Mr. Lane caught up to him. Riding side-by-side, Mr. Lane held his CB mic to the window as if to tell the new guy to put his on.

“Dude, I been calling you for miles. Don’t you keep your radio on?”

“It’s been on the whole time, man. I didn’t hear you call me. What’s wrong?”

Keep in mind this is an open mic, on the main channel (19) for all who have CBs to hear, within range.

Mr. Lane said, “Well sometimes we convoy since we are going to the same place. It makes the miles go by quicker.”

“I didn’t know anyone else was hauling today. Take the lead Lane.”

“I’m on it, Todd.”

“Todd? Hahahahaha! That’s why I didn’t hear ya, man. I heard someone calling like crazy for Todd, but since my name is Troy, I didn’t think much of it.”

An anonymous voice came over the CB and said, “Ya oughta know your friend’s name dipshit.”

More to make fun of about my old man tomorrow. Have a great hump day.