New Book Series

This day and age, inappropriate response runs rampant, like a rash one might contract from spending one night in Bangkok. So today, we will revisit Friday’s blog subject. Sometimes Mommies Die is a childhood book, an instant classic, even. It teaches kids the way life really is. I will share with you some of the book titles from the series, Sometimes Mommies Die and you can add your own in the comments.

Sometimes Your Sister is a Whore but She Did Help Daddy Get His Promotion

Sometimes Teachers Know You’re Dumb

Sometimes Santa Doesn’t Bring Little Bastards Presents

Sometimes Santa Ass Slams Rudolph, Which is How He Got So Famous

Sometimes You Really Should Run With Scissors

Sometimes Strangers Don’t Just Have the Best Candy, They Also Have Really Cool Dungeons in Their Basements

Sometimes Daddies Drink, Pop Pills, Eat Pussy and Move on Down the Road

Sometimes Hookers Give Daddies the Clap and it’s Nothing to Applaud

Sometimes Mommies Use Meth Because Diets Just Don’t Work

Sometimes Mommies Cook Meth Instead of Food Because Sending You to Kiddie Fat Camp is Embarrassing

Sometimes Grandma Likes to Rob the Cradle and She Has Her Eye on Your Friends

Sometimes Father Flannigan Makes Sister Mary Margret Get on Her Knees Too

Sometimes Daddy Blows Your College Fund on His Online Gambling Debt

And finally, the book that inspired the entire series:

Sometimes Stupid Neighbors End Up in the Wood Chipper