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Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Notes From The Desktop

I have a habit of typing notes and saving them on my desktop. Usually, as I am typing, I’m thinking it will make a good column or blog post. But I’m a fucking packrat, even in the virtual sense. And that means my desktop is littered with these little, “Pssst… Lo, don’t forget to write about…” things.

Today I offer you random shit that probably doesn’t mean shit.

I finally got Home Fire’s grand prize winner, Mark of the Haiku Hullabaloo contest, his prize. I didn’t want to give it away, but now that I know he received the package I can tell you, I sent Mark a box of Quisp Cereal, which he said he hadn’t eaten in 40 years.

I turned into a serial cereal. If you recall, Mark had a great idea. He tried to pitch it to big cereal companies; however, they refuse to take ideas from outsiders. It’s a shame really because his idea would make a mint. Picture if you will, writers getting their mini-stories on the backs of cereal boxes.

Who doesn’t love to read the back of the cereal box? Since adults are more aware of eating healthy and the cereal industry continues to pump out healthy, fiber-enriched breakfast foods, wouldn’t it be more appealing to eat while reading a pleasant story, rather than boring health tips?

With the box of cereal, I sent Mark a copy of “Celebrate Good Times,” which is the story of the Brownie Bladder Blizzard. Here’s to hoping he shoots some Quisp and milk out of his nose while reading that little gem.

I intended to have another contest, making whoever lands on the 65,000 hit, the winner, but I missed it. I liked the creativity that came out of the last contest so maybe another contest like that would be best. Post your suggestions in the comments.

I was visiting with some neighbors last week. Their kids are younger than mine, which means it isn’t often that we can find things to do that will amuse the entire group. They had a niece visiting from Mississippi and I had my nephew Dino-Mike here. My nephew is their son’s age and their niece is my daughter’s age. Finally we had some kids in common who could entertain each other while we just chilled.

They decided the kids would have more fun together if they blew up their enormous waterslide. The kids hurriedly got their swimsuits on and most of them went running for the slide.

Their niece (remember she is 11-years-old) announced in her southern accent, “Don’t any of y’all be looking at my bathin’ suit. An’ if ya already did, you just git it outta yer mind.”

That was by far one of the funniest things I heard ever.

I have some more stories about my stint at The Second City, which I’ll get to soon. I have some comedian friends I’d like you to check out. I have more about a possible move for the Lane Gang. I have stories about my visit with my mom, and of course more Dino-Mike coming soon to a blog near you. Stay tuned by signing up with RSS Feed on the top right sidebar. I’m flighty with updates in the summer and that will let you know when I’ve got my shit together.