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Friday, March 02, 2007

Come Together

I read somewhere that 30 minutes of shoveling snow is equivalent to running about three miles. If that is true, the kids and I, along with a few helpers, ran a marathon a couple of times this year at The Lane Estate.

I have some really great friends, and so do my kids. Every time we have been ass deep in snow, they have all come to my rescue with shovel in hand. Since most of the kids hangout here on a daily basis, eating our food, messing our house, and acting like they are home, I saw it as them earning their keep. Not one was paid for their services.

When I was a kid, we’d have made a killing on snow removal services with the amount of snow we have received this year. Of course, I was in much better shape and health in those days.

With the snow almost out of here, and spring winds and rain coming full steam ahead, I learned, after the fact, the symptoms and signs of heart attack include tightness in chest, nausea, radiating pain from chest, dizziness, lightheadedness, and paleness. You can experience those symptoms while shoveling. It’s your body warning you to knock it off. What scares me is that I had all of those symptoms every time I shoveled. I pushed and pushed until I felt like I was about to drop. Stupid, I know. But I didn’t know all of that stuff while there were several feet of snow on the ground. That shit about killed me.

But back in the day, I could shovel like the wind without any aches or pains. We would have made a killing on this amount of snow. Spilt 50/50, fair and square, even though Angie was a lazy little fucker. She would trick me into going out, door-to-door, offering our snow shoveling services. The thing about Ang is that, when she said “we, us, our” she only meant me. Fair and square? I think NOT. She learned that little trick from our mom.

To this day both of them say “we” when they mean anyone but them. How the likes of me and Anita, Mary and Yoda get tangled into their little webs of foolery, still, is beyond me.

So I was thinking about having a housewarming party. I haven’t done that yet because the weather has been pure crap since we moved. But what do you think about a housewarming/painting party? I think it would be awesome to trick Mom and Angie into thinking they are coming over for a good time, and do the old bait and switch trick on them, as they have on me so many times before.

Every room in the house was freshly painted before we bought it, but the walls are all white. I was really hoping to spice it up a little with some color. And what better way then tricking them into thinking it’s just a party?!?

Have a groovy weekend everyone! I have some party plans to make! (Insert sinister giggle here.)