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Saturday, October 06, 2007

Don't Look Back

Dear Argyle Texas, hi. I don't know you. I mean, I don't think I do, but you have made me smile. Thank you for taking the time to read through the archives here. I see on the site meter that you have read for several hours on end, over a period of a couple of days. It means a lot to me, really. Sometimes it seems as though people aren't interested in blogs of yesterday let alone yesteryear. There is no shelf life, or expiration date and I promise, this shit ain't spoiled.

I've been blogging nearly three years, so if you are a new visitor, you've missed a lot. Back when I started this blog, I wrote every day. Now I am a slacker once a week blogger. If I had more time, I'd write more often. But life has a way of getting in the way, ya know?

I was checking out my site meter, waiting for the 100,000th visitor. Only guess what?! There was no information for that person. It was a private IP address too. So much for another contest. Oh, well, at least I was able to see Argyle hanging around.

I'd like to have a reader's favorite section for new visitors. It would give them all the best funnies Home Fires has to offer. If you would like to suggest a story that was your favorite, feel free to do so in the comment section. I plan to put it up in a week or so.

In between working at the nursing home and taking care of the family, I've been doing some odd freelance stuff. I've submitted some ideas for t-shirts, greetings cards and printed gifts to various retailers. If I make a bundle on this new line of freelance work, I'll give up the nursing home and blog much more often.

Don't get me wrong. I love the nursing home and all of the residents. I even like most of the staff. But damn I am tired every single day when I walk out of that building. I swear those precious little old folks stay up late at night thinking of ways to drive me bonkers.

Do you remember this episode of Tom & Jerry?

There is a lady at the nursing home, I'll just go ahead and call her Jerry, she is a walker. For whatever reason, she just can't sit still. I can have all of her favorite things set up in front of her, and damn it if every time I turn my back, she doesn't show up right behind me. It's kind of scary.

I have no idea how she manages to move so quickly, when she is otherwise, a very slow mover. This is what she and I go through at every single activity, every single day, several times a day. I set up an activity, and then I gather people to attend. I usually bring her first because she is one of the few up and walking. So, I walk over to her, tell her my name... again, tell her what we are doing... again, and then I take her hand and lead her to wherever we need to be. I offer her a chair, but it takes several minutes to get her to sit down. I re-explain what we are doing, who I am, and take one of her hands to rest on the arm of the chair, while I pull the chair to the bends of her knees. "Feel the chair? Okay, I've got you. Have a seat and we can begin."

It's a slow moving process, especially considering we have about ten activities every day. Yesterday every time I said, "Please wait for me, I'll be right back," she would agree, and seconds later would be right on my donkey, directly behind me. Just like Tom, my eyeballs popped out of my head, as if to say, "How the hell?" And every time, I would turn her back around and go through the steps above to get her to sit back down.

Of course, I wasn't entirely like Tom. I didn't lock her in a closet, stuff her in a suitcase, whack her upside the head with a fire poker or baseball bat, but I have no doubt if I had, she'd still have found a way to be right behind me in her cute, little old lady, adorable, freaking scary way.

Oh, I almost forgot, I have insurance! Yay me, I'm like a real live person now. Still dealing with gallbladder pain. Tried to make an appointment, only to find out doc is three weeks out. Called some other doctors in my plan, they too are several weeks out. I may just hit the emergency room this weekend in mid attack and see what they can do for me.

Watch out for those sneaky old folks and gallbladders that attack. They should have their own special on Fox soon. When old folks attack, or when gallbladders attack. Now that would be must see TV.

Have a great weekend everyone!