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Monday, May 30, 2005

How Do I Live Without You?

I don't. I won't. I can't!

Okay CW, and anyone else thinking such blasphemous ludicrousness about me, Lois Lane is not a quitter! My last post was just a warning of sorts for you loyal friends and readers who come back to Home Fires day-after-day. The truth is, I may not have the privilege to post every single day throughout the summer. But, I am not quitting!

The RSS feed on my sidebar might come in handy alerting subscribers of updates. There are 50 subscribers currently, which tells me adding that was a good idea.

My mom had a virtual shitball reading the last post. She does not subscribe because she expects daily updates no matter what.

She called and said, "I'll pay you to write your blog everyday Lois. What would you charge me?"

"That's ridiculous Mom!"

"Come on! You can't just stop."

"I'm not stopping. I just won't be posting everyday."

"Come on! You have to post something everyday. How about 10, no 15 bucks an hour? Fine 20. I ain't going no higher bitch."

"Bitch? Mom I'm not taking your money. I blog for fun and I am as bummed that I can't blog everyday anymore too. Really."

"Okay, Lois. I'll give you 25 dollars an hour. You just better write fast!"

"Lay off the crack pipe Mom. I'm not taking your money."

Cluster Fuck

I've been using asterisk symbols to separate my posts when I have a bunch of shit to say. Like today for example. Seven tells me that on some monitors, smaller than my own, my sidebar appears pushed all the way to the bottom. If you are seeing this blog and the sidebar is squished to the bottom, now you know why. And because I used asterisks on so many posts, I'm not going back to fix it all just yet. Thanks Seven for pointing that out to me.


I got a call the other night from my repeat drunk dialer, who doubles as my sister inlaw. We had a really nice talk. Typically when she calls, she is so lit, not much she says makes sense. This time she called before she hit the "Woooooohoo!" point.

I told her about the book I'm writing since her stupid brother, AKA Mr. Lane didn't. She asked all the normal questions and followed my every word as I answered. When I mentioned the content being mostly short family stories told in a humorous manner, the first words to come out of her mouth were, "You can't write about me being a drunk. Okay?"

She's no fun at all! Soon after that, she told me she has been looking for me on the Internet. Why would she be looking for me here? It seems Mr. Lane, while he never seems too interested in my stories, has talked to his sister about this here blog. He didn't know the name of my blog, however, knew what many of my stories were about. It took a lot of years for him to give a rip about my writing but he finally confessed to reading through some of the stuff I have copies of inside a folder in my documents. Thankfully ol' girl spends lots of her days and nights drunk and has yet to find Home Fires.

Road Trip

Mr. Lane came up with a brilliant plan to take the kids and I out of town for a week. First we are going to Minnesota and then to Arkansas, which I can't say without mispronouncing with a thick hillbilly accent, making it come out like, "Ark-can-sas" for no real good reason.

We have no real plan because mostly, Mr. Lane will be working. I'm taking my laptop with and hope to find a connection to the internet while I'm away. Can you see me start to twitch? I'll be working on my book. He'll be driving to his next job and the kids will be bored out of their minds. Our insanity should provide for some good reading for you folks. Because, really, what is funnier than someone else's miserable life?!

If blogging proves to be difficult, and all else fails, I have my cell phone with a camera and can update my Flickr account that way. I can also audio blog with my cell, but that's really scraping the bottom of the barrel, even for a junkie like me.

I am honored that so many of you folks want to take a peek into my little world. Here is the link to my Flickr account. Feel free to add me as one of your contacts and I'll add you too.

P.S. All of you meme taggers, and you know who you are, go visit Last Girl On Earth and she will tell you all about why I (and she) are anti-memes.