Happy Stuff

Happy Birthday Ginny!

Today isn't just St. Patrick's Day folks. Today is also the day one my best friends, I've never met was born. That's right Ginny, is damn near as old as me! I know she appears youthful and stuff, but really she is just a haggard old lady like me. Don't let her love of Justin Timberlake, Jessica Simpson and Hilary Duff fool you, she's no teenybopper anymore.

Let me tell you something that I find fascinating about her before you go visit her site to wish her happy, happy joy, joys. Ginny has a thing for Korean guys. Not just regular Korean guys, just those who are albinos. I know it sounds weird, but this IS Ginny we are talking about. If you would like to set her up on a date with a hot white Asian, send an e-mail to her at Ginnydigswhitemeat@Koeanhotties.com and don't forget to forward plenty of pictures.

Go say happy birthday to Ginny!

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St. Paddy's Day

This is just one more excuse to get loaded! Have fun kids and remember don't drink and drive.

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Friends Don't Let Friends Dial Drunk

While celebrating this holiday today, please under any and all circumstances, do not let your friends drink and dial. I know this may be new to some of you folks but it's a strange phenomenon that has taken over phone lines for many a year at the Lane household.

Yes, Lois knows lots of people who like the drink. One certain person, who shall remain nameless, has a really bad habit of calling me at all hours, drunker than a billygoat (Do people still use that term?) She talks in run-on incoherent sentences, which I can't understand. Mostly, I treat her like you would someone speaking a different language, "Uh, huh. Wow. Really?"

That's really all I can offer some chick who shouts, "Wooooooo!" into my ear as if she were at a friggin' bar cheering on the star of the karaoke competition. If she weren't so drunk, perhaps I might let her know, nothing is so exciting to be shouting woooos into anyone's ear in the middle of the night. I know it's a lost cause so I simply reply with an, "Uh huh."

I'd like to know how it is possible for someone who is so drunk to be able to dial. I mean, seriously, I'm talking about someone who can barely remember who she is talking to after five minutes, yet she can hit all 11 numbers in accurate order. How can she get all the numbers correct? Or is it possible, she never intends to call me? If she calls tonight, I'll give her Ginny's number so she can call and give her a happy woooooo birthday shout.


P.S. I'm all caught up on my comment responses kids. I think I'll slam a few beers back tonight, call Ginny and scream WOOOOOOOOOOOO! I finished my comments! I am not a slacker like some Trashy guy I know!