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Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Reading Rainbow

Today the storyteller in me is sound asleep. She doesn't want coffee, doesn't care about work or playing on the net. Today, she'll get a day off.

Because of the wonderful response, farts received here at Home Fires last week, I've decided to give you another dose of something that has nothing to do with nothing, as it spews from my brain.

Many bloggers are doing these things called memes, instead, I'd like to challenge you guys to come up with a few of your own books that wouldn't quite make the children's library. Any number of the children's books that sit on the shelves in my home could be turned into something silly or perverted. So here is a list of what I've come up with.

1. Clifford The Big Red Dog And His Big Red Dong

2. Green Eggs And The Pig That Fertilized Them

3. Charlotte's Web Of Lies About Where Pork Really Comes From

4. The Little Engine That Couldn't Because His Drunk Step Dad Said He'd Never Make Anything Of Himself

5. Girls Are From Venus and Boys Cum With A Penis

6. Families Are Forever Unless Daddy Runs Off With His New Secretary... Again

7. Brown Bear, Brown Bear, Do You Really Shit In The Woods?

8. The Very Hungry Caterpillar Ate Mommy's Garden And She Killed Him

9. Tigger Looks In The Toilet For Pooh

10. Debbie Does Daycare

11. Split Pea Soup For Your Little Exorcist's Soul

12. James And The Giant Beeotch

And here are the top five that need no changes to sound perverted:
1. Holes
2. The Giver
3. Stuart Little
4. Curious George
5. Where The Wild Things Are

Okay kids, get your lists ready. You can post them in the comments or on your own blog. If you have suggestions for next week's silliness or have a challenge for me, post that here too.