HELP. I Need Somebody. HELP! Not just anybody. HELLLLP!

I know I just blogged a couple of days ago, but I really need your help.

The carpenter called and wants to go shopping. If you know me, then you know shopping is one of the things I do not enjoy, mostly because I have virtually no style. (If you’re not sure what I’m talking about, please see the posts below about pipes exploding and all hell breaking loose in our kitchen.)

He sounded so excited for me as he said, “I want you to pick out your colors,” like he was the wedding planner and I was the clueless bride.

“Colors?” I asked, confused.

“Yeah, your paint, countertops, flooring, wood tones and hardware.”

“Uh, yeah, colors. I can do that, but I’m going to have to get back to you.”

The freakin’ guy is ready to provide me with a brand new kitchen and I had to tell him I’d get back to him? After all we’ve been going through?! As if I hadn’t envisioned a dream kitchen a million times before. It must be stored away in the brain somewhere. Why can’t it surface now when I need it? What the hell is wrong with me? (rhetorical, no need for a real answer thankyouverymuch)

Is it old school thinking that your countertops and floor tile should be the same color? Or am I confused about “the carpet matching the drapes” theory? Since all the gray and balding issues I’m having in my nether region, I’m not very trendy even in that department. I’m running around with a hardwood floor that has a small gray shag rug laying on it, and some shit brow drapes, people! See why I need your help?

What is better, Corian or Quartz? (If you say granite, please note; I believe it’s a passing trend and isn’t as durable as it sounds, never mind it is super expensive.)

We’ve already decided on oak cabinets, since we have oak throughout the house and the ceiling is vaulted also in oak. It’s a medium tone, not too dark, not too light. Mr. Lane is also style challenged and said, “Whatever you think is best, honey.” Incidentally, that is the nicest way possible for a husband to pawn off a task on a wife.

What I need from you are color combinations, floor, countertops, paint and hardware. I like oil-rubbed finishes but until I know what color will work best on the floor and counters, I’m not sure if the faucet and hardware should be shiny, matte, light or dark. Does the faucet finish need to match the finish on the handles for the cabinets?

I Googled the shit out of this stuff. And still can’t find anything that seems remotely doable or anything like what I believe I envisioned.

All I am certain of is… my appliances are white, the cabinets will be oak, the floor will be ceramic tile and I in my head, I like the idea of the tile being staggered rather than in a traditional pattern. The scheme has to be somewhat neutral so it isn’t outdated in a couple of years. Me and the old man are both old fashioned and rustic, whether that falls into contemporary or traditional, I haven’t a clue.

So get those wheels cranking and leave me some good ideas. If you can, provide links. I’m much better with visuals. This is one of those times where I really need as many ideas as possible, so please pass on my question to friends and family. Thank you so much!

Demo is starting this week. Pictures will be coming soon to a blog near you. Stay tuned!

P.S. My friend Malea had a great idea but, I am over an hour (2 hrs. round trip) from the nearest home improvement center. I have to work and won't be able to take the trip before the carpenter needs answers.