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Saturday, February 12, 2005

Kindergarten Krush: Sixth Sense

First time here? Scroll down for part one, two, three, four and five.

I don't think my dad was aware of the seed he planted into my head. That night I had nightmares about Greg and his stinky breath. It was so bad, I was sure all of the air in my bedroom came out of that kid's mouth.

Valentine's Day finally came and I made a decision that morning while eating my Malt-O-Meal, "I am going to talk to John Anthony today and find out if he is my secret admirer! The suspense is killing me! I don't even like secrets!"

I packed up my store-bought valentines and headed out for the day. The wheels in my head were turning faster than the wheels on the bus. I was playing back every second of the last few days in my mind, which may be the reason I can still remember all of the details from so many years ago.

St. Whack 'Em On The Knuckles was overflowing with pink, red and white hearts. Love was certainly in the air and for once I didn't have a little rain cloud over my head looking at John Anthony from afar. I was sure this was the day he would profess his undying love to me and we would live happily ever after.

I tilted my head to the side offering a shy smile. He looked at his shoes. I giggled. We lined up two by two. John Anthony was at my side. My heart was pitter pattering like the Little Drummer Boy was doing a solo inside of me.

I intentionally stepped on the back of Nancy's shoe, giving her a "flat tire". She was already angry at me for being partners in line with John Anthony. She turned and yelled at me. Our teacher didn't like that and guess what? That's right, I got to hold his hand again.

He started out all stiff but my happy arm started swinging. He swung back. I smiled at that boy, who was still looking at his shoes. It was a moment I never wanted to end.

In the coat room Greg walked by and said "Heeeeellooo."
I quickly held my breath so I wouldn't smell his. I smiled back at him and gave a hello nod.

So many students brought treats that very special day. After trying John Anthony's sugar cookies, I knew why he was husky because they were good. Really good. Good enough to give him a compliment.

"I really like these cookies!"
Looking at the plate of cookies, he said, "Thanks."
"Did you make them?"
"Oh... Did your mom make them?"
"Did you help her?"
"Did you get to lick the bowl at least?"
"You're so lucky!"
"Uh huh."

He never took his eyes off of that plate. I reached for another cookie, hoping he would at least look at my hand. He did. I smiled.

"Hey John Anthony? Did you get the candy gram I put in your pocket?"
"Oh. That was you?"
"Who did you think it was?"
"Um... I don't know."
"Did you like it?"
"Did you buy me one?"

I walked away speedy quick. Tears were fogging up my eyeballs. I hid in the coat room until I could see clearly. I walked back out, approached John Anthony again and took his chin in my hand. "You will look at me when I am about to talk to you mister!"

I was a little angry but smiled at him anyhow. "Don't you like me?"
He look me square in the eyes and said, "Uh, no."

I asked my teacher if I could go to the bathroom. She said yes. The tears poured out of my eyes even though I looked at the ceiling to make them fall back into my eyeball sockets. I blew my nose and was on my way back to class. I stopped at the mirror. I looked like Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. I splashed cold water on my face and fanned it off with my nervous little hands. Inside of my stomach, I felt a big hole. I knew then I was stomachbroken, which was kind of like heartbroken but I didn't know the difference between my organs yet.

The rest of the Valentine's Day class party is a blur to me now. I only remember being sad.

On the way back home I sat next to Michael Powells on the bus. I knew he was quiet and wouldn't bug me. Boy was I wrong.

"Lois did you have fun at our party?"
"Because why?"
"Because Valentine's Day is stupid!"
"No it isn't."
"Yes it is!"
"But you got the most candy grams out of everyone in the whole entire school!"
"They were all from my dad. He's the only boy that likes me!"
"All of them were from your dad?"
"Michael, are you asking for candy? Didn't you have enough treats in class? Aren't you scared of the dentist and cavities?"
"Um... well... I... it's just that... I..."
"Spit it out!"

He took a big deep breath and in a fast low tone, Michael Powells said to me, "I-gave-you-one-of-those-candy-grams-didn't-you-get-mine-I-did-it-because-I-think-you-are-nice-and-I-didn't-want-you-to-know-that-I-like-you-but-I-do-and-now-you-know-and-I-am-sorry-I-got-you-mad-at-me-and-no-thank-you-I-don't-want-any-candy-and-yes-I-am-scared-of-the-dentist-and-cavities-will-you-be-my-partner-in-line-tomorrow?"

He didn't come up for air. He blurted out how he felt. For the first time, I really looked at that boy. I looked at his eyes, which I never noticed before then. His eyes looked like mine felt when I looked at John Anthony. I felt sad for that boy. I thought maybe I made him sad like John Anthony made me sad. I thought maybe he told his dad about me not smiling at him. I wondered if his family hated Lois Lane like my family hated John Anthony.

I smiled at him. He smiled back. I dug into my book bag and pulled out one of my unopened candy grams. It was the one he gave me. I took out a pencil, crossed out "From ?" and wrote, "Love Lois". I handed it to him and he took it with a big smile.

Stay tuned part seven, the final chapter coming soon. I bet you thought this was the end huh?