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Monday, January 23, 2006

Like A Rolling Stone

This was the craziest weekend on record here at the Lane Estate. First off I have to ask again for the good vibes patrol to come out in full force. Now I have two sisters in the hospital.

Angie's kidneys decided they wanted to form a rock band, apparently. She has been unable to pass the largest of her kidney stones, which now measures 5mm X 12mm.

She was admitted in excruciating pain on Saturday and hopes to be home to sell that painful little fucker on eBay by Tuesday. Her second choice is to put a bow on the stone's head and call it her third child.

The morphine is keeping her out of pain but man she is loopy. I was on the phone with her yesterday and she was telling me about all of the different drugs they have her on. She was trying to tell me they also are giving her Benadryl but instead said, "Ben and Jerry's". I guess that was just some wishful thinking on her part. Maybe Ang is on to something, a little ice cream always makes me feel better.

My sister Mary remains in the hospital recovering from her surgery. Her massive blood clot turned out to be not only a blood clot but a chunk of plaque lodged in her aorta. Mary also is on morphine. Hers comes via IV with a self-medicating button. I guess the medicine is making her a little loopy too because she is using her button as a detonator. Every time someone says or does something she disapproves of, she holds the button up in the air and says, "Don't make me blow you up!"

Hopefully both will be out soon and back on their feet. For now they are in two hospitals about 40 miles away from each other. Angie's hospital is 77 miles away from me and Mary's is 55. Sometimes being out in the middle of nowhere is a really bad thing.

Tune in tomorrow to learn why the police were at our house this weekend. I told you it was crazy.