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Wednesday, December 20, 2006

DUCK! Flying Shitballs!

I think we have all been there. The forces that be decide, “Today is just going to suck, get used to it!” I try to keep an upbeat attitude. Life has thrown a ton of shitballs my way, and because “That is life,” I continue forward and try to take something positive from each experience, or said shitball.

Today I am still trying to find the positive from last Friday. I guess some people may call it dwelling. Anyhow, the first thing that got me going was my sister’s surgery. Yeah, I know, it’s just a gall bladder. But the reality of it is, I knew there was no way I would be able to be there with her because of how far away I live. The day rolled downhill from there.

There was the surprise toilet episode, which again, I’ll spare you too many details. But suffice to say, it is a water saver toilet. (Read: really cheap piece of shit, that won’t suck the literal shit down correctly.) After wrasslin’ the toilet monster for an hour, (I wish I were kidding!) I high-tailed it to the grocery store and my phone rang.

“Babe, my work truck needs to go into the shop. I’m going to be late.”

“Oh that sucks. Sorry.”

“Yeah, I’m dropping it off at the mechanic’s now.”

“Well that sounds more like an early day than a late one. What’s the hang up if your truck isn’t working?”

“I have to drop it off and then wait for my boss or someone to come and get me.”

“Were are you? I just got out of the grocery store, I can come.”

“Oh cool! You sure you don’t mind?”

“How could I mind? And why should you have to sit there for who knows how long? Tell me how to get there.”

After he gave me directions, I took off. It was farther than he said, but it really didn’t bother me, until… I realized he still needed to pickup his personal vehicle at work. Because I rarely pay attention to directions, I had no clue I’d picked him up two hours away from his workplace.

I spent hours in the car, probably more hours than he would have sat waiting for his boss to pick him up. I thought of the many times he did little things for me, made sacrifices, gone out of his way, and the frustration subsided. But now, I was in a big hurry because I promised the lady who runs the teen center that I would be there to help with the big Christmas celebration dance. (I have been volunteering there almost every week since we moved here, and I love it.)

At least 100 kids showed up for the party. There were prizes and games and tons of dancing. It was a lot of fun, until… I walked out to start my car and saw the entire driver’s side smashed in. Both doors, big dents, paint chipped off, heart sank. Hit and run, no witnesses, just one crushed Lois Lane with a matching car. Who said I wasn’t fashionable?!

You folks reading who have been around a while know I just got this car a few months ago, which made the ache a little sharper. You also know that the Lanes finally purchased our first house, which left us broke. (Not starving, mind you, just getting by, broke.)

Thinking about my insurance and the $500 deductable, added to the misery. My old man arrived before the police. He was pissed and treated me like it was my fault. I guess the blame game feels good when all is going to shit.

A dim light when on inside of my head… Christmas, oh shit! Talk about adding insult to injury, I could feel shitballs being thrown. We were holding out on shopping because we are going to Missouri for Christmas. We didn’t want the kids to see their gifts, so we intended to do our shopping there. After paying the deductable, we would have nothing left over for Christmas.

If I wait to get the car fixed, there could be a lot of rust and road salt damage due to our weather. So for almost a week, this is what I have been dwelling on. Do I fix the car? Do I buy presents for my kids?

Have I mentioned how much I love my kids lately? Both said they had enough stuff and suggested I just fix the car.

“Dude Ma, you can just get me that plasma big screen and Lamborghini at an after Christmas sale,” Lane 1 joked.

“Yeah, and I’ll be happy getting my toy chest filled with diamonds later… as long as it isn’t too far after the first of the year,” Lane 2 added.

And Mom… have I mentioned how much I love her lately? She offered to give us $500. She was like the opposite of the Grinch, well, she is green and really hairy, but that’ll have to be a blog for another day. Anyhow, Mr. Lane, being the stupid sonofa ass dick mother fuuu kind of man he is, told Mom, “Thanks, but no thanks.” He called her after he left the house… without mentioning it to me. So for a fleeting moment, I thought our very commercialized Christmas was saved, only to find out a few hours later that my old man’s pride was bigger than his stupid fucking mouth.

I really need to stop dwelling because really good stuff is happening. And even if we can’t get our kids everything they would like to have, they are growing into the mature, selfless adults we intended to raise. That’s a great Christmas present for me and the moron their father.

Thank you all for the well-wishes for my sister Anita. She had a little hang-up due to an allergy to medicine they gave her, but has come out of surgery. They released her late last night and is home now, doing well. Again, another great Christmas gift.

I do have some more good news but it’s going to have to wait for another post, coming soon to a blog near you.