Keeping The Home Fires Burning & The Kids' Heads Spinning

I’m slowly learning how to properly torture my children. I’ve been practicing for a while now, and according to my mother, the best torture teacher on the planet, I am finally getting close.


Where we used to live, there was a Dairy Queen a mile away from our house. The kids loved going and we went fairly often. Heck, you can even read about one of those times here. How I ever showed my face around there after that, remains a mystery.


Anyhow, in our new town there used to be a Dairy Queen. Apparently, a couple of years ago, fire ravaged the building. For whatever reason, the big Dairy Queen sign, the parking lot and the drive-thru speaker have remained intact. Why the property owner hasn’t rebuilt or at least removed all visible signs of the former restaurant is beyond me.


We’ve been in our new neighborhood for six months. And for that half of a year my kids have been craving ice cream. Every time we drive by, they look longingly at the location that once held all of the ice cream that their dreams are made of.


There is a Dairy Queen a few towns over, but it seems like there’s just no time to get there.


After repeatedly asking for ice cream, I finally said okay. We piled into the car. They were so happy. The excited chitter-chatter from the backseat reminded me of when my 12 and 14 year olds were 2 and 4. I mean, they were really happy.


They were so caught up in each other and their conversation that they were paying no attention to my driving. As I turned the car into the old parking lot, their chatter stopped. When I pulled up to the drive-thru speaker, opened my window, complete silence fell over the backseat.


Stopped at the old drive-thru speaker, I hollered out, “Can I please have three Brownie Bladder Blizzards?!”


After a slight pause, we laughed our silly heads off. But for some reason, they stopped laughing before I did.


Lane 1 asked, “Um, dude, Ma, you were kidding, right?”


That just made me laugh harder, and then I said, “Their service really is slow today!”


Lane 2 said, “Mom, I think we should go to a Dairy Queen that is actually open.”

I was laughing so hard by then, tears were running down my face. I drove out of the old parking lot, still giggling while the kids were shaking their heads in a confused fashion. I drove right back home. When I pulled the car into our driveway, both of their mouths were gapping wide-open, as were their eyes. It was classic! With them still sitting in the backseat, I motioned to get out of the car. Neither could muster a word. They looked appalled that I had tricked them.


Because I started the car back up and took them to the Dairy Queen a few towns over, Mom says I still have a lot more torture practice to get in before I reach her status.


Have a great weekend everybody!