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Tuesday, December 30, 2008

I've Got Hungry Eyes...

... & Everything Else

Holidays with the in-laws, I don't think there's anything that can make you fatter faster. Every Lane gained at least five pounds in a couple of days. My mother in-law cooks like a beast, and we ate nearly nonstop.

Lane 2 and I filled up on vegetables, so how we packed on the pounds is beyond me. Of course, my mother in-law claims carrot cake isn't technically veggies. Whatever!

They say getting there is half the fun, but because the weather was so bad, it took us 9 1/2 hrs. to get there rather than 6 1/2. We saw 41 accidents along the way. It was terrible. Worst ride ever. But as soon as we walked in the door, my father in-law had tacos cooked up and ready to shove down our hungry throats.

We seriously ate 90% of the time we were awake.

They took us to a buffet one night. It was in a grocery store. Have you ever seen one of these? It was our first time. You know how Target has a snack bar in it's own little corner? Well it was slightly different. You walk into the grocery store. In the corner, between the deli and meat counter there's a seating area. But all of the food is at those counters and then a giant salad bar sits in the middle of the main aisle, so you have to walk into the grocery store to fill your plate. It was crazy!

The old man and I were kind of waiting for the Candid Camera people to come out, because it was really strange. We walked with our plates up to the counters, where people with shopping carts were buying the same food but by the pound rather than the plateful.

We played, "Shopper or eater" as we sat there guessing if the people would grab a plate or a cart.

My mother in-law just goes with the flow. You could tell it isn't her favorite place, but my father in-law, well, clearly he was in supermarket heaven. This kicked sample day at Costco's ass all to hell and back!

He did have a sense of humor about it, saying they also had the same initial reaction, adding, "Son, go to aisle 7 and get me some soy sauce for my Chinese food."

Mr. Lane looked at his dad as if to ask, "Are you serious?" And then we all laughed at him. It's nice that the old man is the butt of the joke, even when we are far away from home.

Santa was a very bad boy this year. He secretly got a credit card and charged a Cannon Rebel for his lovely bride. Although I've wanted one since they came out, I've also lived by the no credit cards rule my whole life. Looks like Santa will be paying for this bad ass camera well beyond next year in more ways than one.

It turns out it will be a gift to you as well, blessing or curse, you can decide later. I'll probably have oodles of pictures to share. I already have a bunch but I believe my mother in-law would come over and murder me if I were to post the ones I think are the best.

Her kids who live all over the place, set up their families in front of their webcams and gave her a live broadcast of the whole famdamily, causing her shock, excitement, surprise, happiness, tears and...oh hell, it'll take her at least six and a half hours to get here to kill me.

Here's how she reacted to seeing all of her kids "together" Christmas morning.

First reaction after she took her hands off of her eyes. My father in-law, sister in-law and niece standing with her.

My sister in-law, her husband and her two kids, along with her almost son in-law, also stayed at my in-laws' house. It was packed. And on Christmas Eve and Christmas day, my other sister in-law, her two kids and her grandson also came over. They live about 15 minutes from them.

There were 15 of us eating prime rib, ham, tons of side dishes and of course lots of veggies, triple layered veggies with cream cheese frosting are pretty much my favorite!

New Years Eve will be relatively low-key. The kids are having a few friends over and my main goal is to stay awake long enough to make sure there's no mischief going on around here. I hope you all ring in the new year safely and have a great time!

See ya all next year!