Image hosted by

Friday, February 10, 2006

Cat Scratch Fever

My mom has this magnetism that draws in freaks. It's almost as if she wears a sign that says, "Come bug me, please." She lives in a huge apartment complex and "meets" new neighbors every day while out walking her dog.

A few days ago, she was out, allegedly minding her own business. She saw a man walking a cat on a leash. Although Mom is a cat lover, she thought it odd and wondered if the dude ever heard of kitty litter. She held back her eye roll and giggle and continued to walk.

As they got closer, the man inched his way to the edge of the grass to be as far away as possible from my mom and her dog. Because my mom's dog was raised with cats, she didn't make any attempt to give chase. As they passed each other, the man said, "I don't like your dog."

"Lo, I really wanted to say, 'Who the fuck asked you?' I have been trying so hard to be a nicer person. So instead, I simply said, 'Why? Because she is smarter than you? By the way, I feel really sorry for Fluffy.' and then I walked away."

"You showed good restraint Mom. I would have yelled to the dog, 'Attack!' and watched him shit himself before getting licked to death by Ginger."

"All this nice shit isn't getting me anywhere. It's as if someone opened a door for all assholes to walk in and annoy me. This guy's leash for his little tabby is so thick you would swear to God that dumb sonofabitch was walking a fucking mountain lion."

Since her encounter she has resigned herself to stop trying to be nice to certain people. Can you guys to come up with a tactic for her to use as a way to fuck with Fluffy's dad, since she isn't going to be nice to him anymore?

Don't forget to visit Dutch West TV where I am the guest blogger on the Dutch Oven.

I will also have a post up over at Cyber Hikers, later today.

Have a great weekend!