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Tuesday, February 14, 2006

I'm Lookin' For A New Love Baby

I'm Only Human

Hard to pick a title on today's thoughts. I wanted to share a warm fuzzy love story with you fine readers but I'm not really into making people barf, so I'll skip all that crap and tell you the dirty truth. What I thought was love at first sight was just a strong fondness. As I get older, I learn more and more what true love really is.

I know I shouldn't have started looking for a new love before the old love was completely out of my life. It's okay if you guys hate me for that. I am pretty disappointed to know I am capable of this myself. I suppose I am only human after all. I thought the butterflies would stay in my tummy forever. I thought I would never be like others who just throw away love. I don't like to think of it as throwing love away necessarily, I am simply saying goodbye before all is lost. Ending this on a good note, if you will.

The truth is, I've had a wandering eye since 2002 and yes, I talked to Mr. Lane about this. I wanted to be open and honest. I guess he thought I'd settle down, set my feelings aside and continue on as if I'd not met the other. But I met the other years ago and I've tried to put him out of my mind. I just didn't know how. And now I have a chance to begin a new commitment and I want to. Desperately.

We weren't meant to be sooner. He was out of my league. And I know better than anyone, you can't rush a good thing. Good things come to those who wait. If you love something set it free and whatnot. So I did and now it has come back.

In 2002 I picked my second choice. A Buick Regal. I have truly loved him as much as I could possibly love a second choice. He was three times cheaper than my real true love.

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For this Valentine's Day, I am professing my everlasting love. Sorry Regal Beagle, we just weren't meant to last forever.

There wasn't a day that went by where I didn't secretly think of you. When one of my in-laws came for a visit from California in 2003, and I saw her with you, I was green with envy. It should have been me gripping your leather steering wheel. It should have been my bum being warmed by your heated leather seats. It should have been my hair whipping in the wind, with the sun beating down upon my face through your moon roof. But my mother in-law had you.

I can't tell you how badly I felt when I saw you and her together. I was jealous, enraged and hurt. I tried to tell myself I had moved on. I tried telling myself and my Regal Beagle that we were meant to be, but my heart and lead foot knew differently.

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In two weeks you will arrive. And I am so ready for that day to come. I've made lots of plans for us, so rest up. I will see you soon my love.

P.S. Happy Valentine's Day to all of you, and to my wonderful husband whom I love almost as much as the new car he is getting me.