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Friday, October 08, 2010

Working Class Hero

You ever do something and then kick yourself in the ass over it? I have. That’s one of the reasons why I’ve been missing in action around here lately. I signed a piece of paper that says I will not blog (at or) about work.


Some of the people who work there actually get paid to blog. Whatever.

Since nearly everything I do is centered around the stupid job, what the hell am I allowed to tell you guys?!

Work is good right? It is a job in the field for which I am trained. A job I’ve done before. One that I really like-ish.

Why did I sign that fucking paper?!

I mentioned in a post this summer something about the job. (That was before the paper was signed.) It was also before I was asked on as a full-timer. By the way, full-timer means health benefits, which my family hasn’t had steadily for many moons. Full-timer also means, micro-managed nearly to death.

I love and hate it. But knowing the kids are in the age of self-sufficiency, I sort of had to begin rebuilding my own life, for me. Empty nest syndrome is a bitch in more ways than I can express in words. I still have a couple of years before my girl is an official grown up, and I’m really not sure why it is hitting me so hard so soon.

I’ve spent the last 18 years of my life living for those kids of mine and being what and who they needed. Before that, it was all about my old man and his needs. Before that, I was the model daughter, just ask my siblings, they know I was always Mom and Dad’s favorite kid. (just making sure those skeezers are still reading my blog)

Before that... there was no ‘before that.’ And any second that snuck by in between…I kind of forget about my own individuality, something like stolen identity…sans the bill for a flat screen.

When I had a moment to reflect, I realized I didn’t really like me so much. The me - without them, the solo me, basically - the unknown me. Introspective, huh?! (Please refrain from the “We like you just the way you are.” Mr. Rogers type comments, that’d be great.)

The forces that be apparently knew I was not ready to see my only son off to the US Air Force right now. He is in a holding pattern. Turns out this shitty economy is on this mom’s side. Everyone and their brother has been signing up because it is one of very few jobs available that is guaranteed, and comes with benefits.

So my son is on a waiting list, stuck at his same-old-same-old job, stuck with the same old naggin’ dragon mom, as the kids so lovingly call me. But the little douche bag is never home…unless he is showing his dad porn websites?!

Mr. Lane has been missing in action as always. But when he is around on a rare drop-in visit, apparently the boys have been enjoying a little internet time together. I didn’t even have to discover a virus on my computer to find out what those two asses were up to.

The old man was on the phone with a buddy talking about his son sharing a live-feed webcam sex site with him.

“He just tells some random broad to show her boobs, and she did!”

Listening as he sat across the table from me, I shook my head thinking this was just another exaggerated story. But he was speaking in detail, and you all know my old man isn’t very creative, so I started really listening as he finished telling his friend more.

He said, “When he let me have a turn, I typed, ‘I would be very appreciative if you would remove your shirt.’”

Almost crying from laughing so hard, I couldn’t keep quiet any longer, “Who are you fooling? You can’t spell appreciative.”

Correcting himself, in a very caveman way he said, “I would be very thank…you… for naked?”

And that was more like it!

Sorry again for the delay in posting. I could tell you guys I’ll be more consistent, but I’ll be unintentionally lying…again. Thanks for sticking around anyhow!